


In the Gray Rain and Golden Fields

by burningnegi



Category: Psycho-Pass
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:15:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22306306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/burningnegi/pseuds/burningnegi
Summary: The investigator's encounter with the bookstore owner in a rainy night eventually leads to a trip to the countryside in memory of an old friend.The first chapter is written from Kougami's pov, and the second from Makishima's. Implied past Choe/Maki.
Relationships: Choe Gu-Sung/Makishima Shougo, Kougami Shinya/Makishima Shougo
Comments: 8
Kudos: 30





	1. Gray Rain

When the soft rain suddenly turns into downpour following a roll of thunder, Shinya clicks his tongue in dismay. After a long day of negotiations and door-to-door inquiries for a recent homicide case, Shinya longs for a break, some time on his own. But there is still some distance to the subway that will take him home, and the small canopy of his umbrella serves little more than a piece of cardboard in the hydrated wind. His suit and shoes are getting soaked. 

Shinya quickly scans both sides of the street as he hurries on, searching for a temporary shelter. His feet come to a stop as he passes by the painted wooden door of a store. An antique wall lamp emits a small radius of warm-colored light, illuminating the storefront in this rainy night, faint yet reassuring. Through the weathered glass on the door, he can see shelves and piles of books inside.

Has there been a bookstore on this street? Shinya wonders. Having walked through the same streets on his way to work for many years, he knows the shops and landmarks in this area almost by heart. Yet somehow this bookstore seems to have escaped his attention – until now. Shinya finds himself oddly frustrated by that fact. Why did he never notice it? 

Without any more delay, Shinya pushes the door open and steps inside the store. The wooden door shuts behind him with a soft thump, like a finished book being closed.

Inside the store is dim and snug, with books freely crowding the dark, heavy shelves. The faint smell of wood and dust in the air feels timeworn yet nostalgic, as if this little space is transported into the fast-paced metropolitan from some time lost in the past. 

“Ah, welcome.” A voice says, mellow, melodious, and a bit hollow. 

Shinya turns his head and sees a young man standing nearby, leisurely shelving a small pile of books in his hands. Aside from Shinya, he seems to be the only other person in the store at the moment.

The man wears a green sweater with a slightly oversized white shirt underneath; his long, white hair falls casually down his shoulders. A small smile is upon his lips, and he looks directly into Shinya's eyes.

So he is the owner here, the investigator thinks to himself as he smiles back, also fixing his eyes on the man with the books. 

“I’m glad you’re still open. It’s pretty late.” 

For some reason Shinya feels like speaking to this stranger right now, despite the fact that he has been talking to strangers for basically the entire day and is supposedly sick of small talks at this point.

“It’s never too late for books,” The store owner replies, sounding almost delighted. “And books are good for a rainy night.”

There’s an inexplicable charm in the rather stiff way in which the owner talks, and Shinya can’t help but feel his spirit lifted. “You’re right.” 

The investigator carefully puts away his umbrella in the rack at the entrance and walks over to a small table in front of him. A collection of contemporary classics is on display, many among which Shinya has enjoyed reading. As his eyes move across the familiar titles, Shinya lets his fingers brush through the books in the front row, indulging in the subtle sensation of the texture and embossing on the book covers upon his fingertips. That sensation soothes him, makes him feel grounded.

Shinya ends up spending almost half an hour browsing and reading in the bookstore, not talking to anyone, as if he has forgotten his urge to go home. No other customers came in. The store owner also left him alone and showed no sign of closing.

When at last Shinya walks up to the register to check out a short story anthology by his favorite author, the young store owner looks up from a book he’s reading and smiles.

“I hope you found what you need?” 

“Yeah... I did.”

“I see.”

The store owner receives the book from Shinya’s hands and quietly places it on his desk. Then he takes out a large piece of manila paper and cuts it with a straight razor that he produced from a pocket on his shirt. Wrapping the paper he cut out around one side of the book, he binds the two together with a piece of twine, finishing with a knot that has two loops on the top. The entire process is completed with much swiftness and elegance that Shinya does not think of stopping this unnecessary elaboration.

“Thank you.” Shinya holds the book in his hands for a short while, admiring the knot. He has taught himself how to tie these knots in the past too.

“My pleasure.” The young man looks at the investigator while resting his chin in the palm of his hand, a gleam of amusement flickering in his amber eyes.

_Do you wanna go grab a drink with me_ – looking at this beautiful person in front of him, Shinya suddenly feels these words on the tip of his tongue and barely manages to force them back. He lets out an inaudible sigh and turns away – only to stop short at the sight of another book lying on the register desk. It’s a copy of _The Catcher in the Rye_ in the original text.

He has been looking for it.

“Excuse me,” Shinya points at the book on the desk. “Do you have any more copies of this book?”

He checked the foreign language section of the bookstore but doesn’t remember seeing _The Catcher in the Rye_. Maybe he missed it?

“Oh,” The store owner raises his eyebrows, then he chuckles. “This is the only copy I have, actually. There are plenty of copies in translation, but I suppose that’s not what you want.”

“No,” Shinya answers. There is a short pause. Then he continues, his voice a little hesitant, since he isn't sure if this is an appropriate thing to ask. “May I purchase this copy, then?”

“Well, technically, it’s not for sale...” The store owner puts his hand on the book, his fingertips touching the cover lightly. “Because it is mine.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. In that case –”

“Hm.”

Before Shinya can finish the sentence, the store owner gently pushes the book toward him.

“Would you like to borrow it?” Narrowing his eyes, the owner looks at Shinya with an inviting smile.

“That… That would be great, yeah,” A quiet laugh escapes from Shinya’s mouth. He is pleasantly surprised, and at the same time greatly relieved by this friendly gesture – or is he really surprised? “I mean, if you are fine with it.”

“I don’t mind. A book increases in its value as it’s read by more people.” The owner says as he looks down at the book almost tenderly.

“Thank you. I will return it as soon as possible.” Shinya picks up the book and carefully puts it inside his bag.

“You can take your time. Well, especially when you’re reading it in the same language that the author wrote in.”

“Right. I’ve read a translated version once, but I always wanted to see the original text.”

“You should compare them, if you have a chance,” Saying this, the store owner glances outside the window on his left. The rain has stopped, and street lights become distorted blurs as they pass through the traces of water that now cover the window. “People say that language is a finite system which allows us to express an infinite number of ideas. But it also confines us, since we cannot express any idea that our language doesn’t allow. I am very interested in seeing what forms the same book can take within the confinements of different languages.”

Hearing this, Shinya smiles. “You reminded me of something,” He looks up at the low ceiling that he can probably reach if he jumps. “‘The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.’”

“Wittgenstein… ” That gleam of amusement is back in the owner’s eyes, but somehow Shinya can hear an emptiness in his voice. “Born into this society, I wonder what is left in our language?”

The sentence trails off, and two men hold the silence between them. Then Shinya speaks.

“Well, it can still hold our names and what those names stand for, don’t you think?” Shinya feels his heart beating faster. “May I ask your name?”

“Makishima,” The store owner smiles, wryly but not without delight. “Makishima Shougo. And you are?”

“Kougami Shinya. It was a pleasure talking to you, Makishima.” The investigator replies genuinely.

“You too, Kougami.” 

Shougo stands up from his seat, and the two of them walk to the door together.

Stepping outside, Shinya feels a cool breeze upon his face. He takes a deep breath, inhaling the fresh air after the rain.

“Then, until the next time we see each other.”

Shinya turns around. Shougo is holding the door open with one hand and waving to him with the other. 

“Yeah, I will see you.”

Stars shine brightly and coldly in the clear night sky. Shinya lights a cigarette between his lips as he hurries on toward the subway station. Then, as if something suddenly struck him, he stops and glances back. The faint, warm-colored light at the storefront of the bookstore can no longer be discerned.

But the book in the bag that weighs on his shoulder assures Shinya that they are there, and they will be there – both the store and its owner, Makishima.


	2. Golden Fields

Shougo and Shinya sit together in a train that’s heading toward a suburban area about an hour away from the city. Shougo sits in the window seat, his hand resting on a small bunch of hibiscus on his lap; Shinya takes the aisle seat and is reading a book.

Shougo brought a book with him too, but right now he just feels like looking at the view outside. Since the train has approached the edge of the city, the forest of mighty skyscrapers is dwindling into low-rise buildings of the older times. Everything seems to be in the way it’s meant to be, orderly and peaceful under the mild afternoon sun.

Perhaps unintentionally, Shougo adjusts the focus of his eyes onto the reflections on the window. He sees himself and Shinya, who has just set a cigarette in the corner of his mouth and lit it without looking away from the book he’s reading. A small smile unfurls on Shougo’s lips as he remembers the first time they met on that rainy night.

The first time _Shinya met Shougo_ is probably a more accurate way to put it. Their encounter took place about two months ago, but Shougo had watched the keen-looking investigator pass by his bookstore on the way to work for much longer. That man had an air of conviction about him that separated him from the crowd, which always piqued Shougo’s interest.

And Shougo was more pleased than he thought he would to see said investigator – named Kougami Shinya, as he learned soon enough – walk into his store that night. He even took the initiative to have Shinya borrow his book, knowing this will oblige the investigator to come back again. 

As it turned out, Shinya did not only come back but also started frequenting the bookstore. The store never had many visitors, and when Shinya came, it was often just him and Shougo, the two of them alone, sharing the serenity in this nearly forgotten space. At one point, Shinya asked Shougo out for dinner – which eventually made eating out with the investigator a regularity in the bookseller’s everyday life.

With Shinya’s pleasant company, some weeks passed in peace. But Shougo was also watching the calendar as a date finally approached. 

A few days before the anniversary of his late friend’s death, Shougo informed Shinya about his planned absence. _I will be visiting a friend in this nearby city for a day_ was what he said. Shinya simply responded with an understanding nod and told him to take care on his trip. Shougo was happy with that; although he didn’t mean to hide anything, there was no need to involve Shinya in this personal matter. 

However, when Shougo arrived at the train station on the day of the anniversary, carrying a small bunch of hibiscus in his arm and ready to leave for the city where his friend was buried, he felt a hand on his shoulder before he could enter the ticket gate. He turned around and saw Shinya, who was panting but also smiling, looking a little embarrassed. Apparently Shinya was waiting for him at the station and caught sight of him just in time.

“Do you mind if I, um, come with you? To visit your friend?”

“I thought you had work.”

“Yeah, but the Chief gave me a break today. Let’s go.”

Shougo could tell that the investigator had figured everything out, but he didn’t bother to ask how. After all, he realizes he is happy to have Shinya by his side, especially on this trip that would bring back too many memories. And that’s all that matters.

Their train just sped past the boundaries of the city, leaving behind the clamor and prosperity of the machine where they have lived for most of their lives. Shougo turns away from the window to look at the man sitting next to him. Shinya, sensing himself being watched, looks up from his book. The corner of his lips is loosely supporting his cigarette, now halfway toward finish. 

A small smirk appears on Shougo’s face when he suddenly takes the cigarette away from its perch, gently draws Shinya closer by the collars, and presses his own lips against the other’s. Despite the bitter taste of tar, Shougo lets his tongue dwell in the investigator’s mouth for a short while, relishing the warmth. Before he breaks away from the kiss, Shougo licks at his partner’s lower lip indulgently, eliciting a soft moan from both of them.

No one is actually sitting on the other side of the aisle, but Shinya, as if by reflex, still tries to block the scene from others’ view with his book. Realizing this afterwards, Shougo eyes Shinya mischievously and smiles. Shinya sighs audibly, looking delightfully annoyed.

\---

The station at which they get off has outdoor platforms, and Shougo buttons up his coat as he steps out of the train, sensing the chill in the wind. Then he hurries on, with Shinya following closely behind.

Shougo doesn’t waste any time to observe the familiar station in reminiscence of the first time he was brought there by his deceased friend. For some reason he feels a sudden urge to see his friend’s burying place, and technically speaking, they are only halfway there at this point.

The two men soon exit the train station. Taking an abrupt turn from the semi-crowded main street, Shougo starts to lead Shinya along a path hidden among the buildings. The view around them gradually becomes more desolate – or rather, less lively, because everything is in good condition from the look, just that the scenery feels terribly empty without any trace of human.

At last, Shougo stops in front of a public garage located in a long-abandoned residential area.

“I see. We still need to drive there.” Having kept silent throughout their secretive trip across the city, Shinya finally speaks.

“It won’t take too long,” Saying this, Shougo produces a keychain from his coat’s pocket and opens the garage door with a small remote attached on the chain. Although this area is no longer occupied, electricity still seems to go through some public facilities – according to his old friend. “I’ll take the wheel.”

“Alright.”

Shougo presses on the car key in his hand, and a black SUV near the entrance gives a soft beep, its headlights flashing dully through the ashes in the air. 

A familiar smell, having endured the dilution of time, envelopes Shougo the moment he sits himself in the car. He inhales deeply, and for a second he seems to be at a lost.

“I think you might like this place that I’m going to show you.”

He can hear Choe’s voice in his head. The voice of the only person who felt like a friend to him. 

Those strange eyes behind the closed eyelids. That confident, casual grin. The rhythmic, mesmerizing sound of fingertips hitting the keyboard that Shougo was so used to hearing when he read his books.

Shinya swings the door shut as he sits down in the front passenger’s seat, pulling Shougo back to the present. Shougo steps on the accelerator and starts the engine.

Upon ignition, the car groans creakily. But the engine soon proves to be perfectly functional. Not only on the paved asphalt, it runs decently well even when Shougo begins to drive off onto a small country road that has grown rough from years of unattendance. 

As they jolt along the bumpy track, a car suddenly appears from the opposite direction, quickly driving past them. And soon a second one. 

Shougo senses a slight stir from Shinya.

“To be honest, I thought your friend’s location would be more secretive.” There is a hint of surprise in Shinya’s comment.

Shougo takes a quick glance at his partner and chuckles softly. 

“A small community is living down this road, actually. Either out of fear or disapproval of the direction in which the society was going, a group of people went out to seek their own utopia. On this piece of land that they managed to carve out for themselves while the System was yet to take its full shape, these people learned to provide for themselves, growing and making everything they might need,” Shougo explains, half-smiling. “‘A self-contained universe, freed forever from the sobering influence of external danger.’”

At last they arrive at their destination. Shougo parks the car on the roadside.

Getting out from the car, Shougo and Shinya stand next to each other in silence for a while. All around them are fields of golden crops, stretching endlessly into the distance. The crops ripple gently in the mellow sunlight, like a sea of shadows.

“This is a nice place,” Shinya says as he tries to take in the unusually idyllic scene around him. “Your friend’s got a good taste.”

Shougo narrows his eyes slightly as the expression on his face softens. “Let’s keep going,” He gestures with his hands in the pockets of his coat. “This way.”

Guided by a vague feeling rooted in fragments of his old memory, Shougo manages to find the irregular-shaped gravestone at the edge of a barley field without too much effort. The rock has sunk deeper into the soil since the last time Shougo saw it, and the inscription on its dark, rough surface is fading after long exposure to sun and rain.

Kneeling down, Shougo places the hibiscus he brought next to the little grave. The red flowers, which looked so radiant in Shougo’s arms, seem to wane somewhat under the shadows of the barley.

The mourner gently brushes the top of the gravestone with his fingers, reading in silence the inscription he himself carved a year ago.

_Choe Gu Sung_

_quis ne substituar_

“He died in a car accident last year. I was the only one there to mourn for him, since he had no other close connections in this foreign land,” Shougo says softly, his voice barely audible. “It’s a rather heavy burden to bear, to know that you are the only person to remember someone’s existence.”

Shinya stays silent, seeming lost in thought as he gazes at the small, bare stone.

“Do you think–“ Shougo speaks again, loudlier this time, but he stops before his question can take shape. Instead, he shuts his eyes and smiles, “Never mind.”

Slowly, Shougo stands up and puts his hands back in his coat pockets. He muses as he looks into the distance, letting his hair loose in the wind. The sun has begun to set, gilding the crops in the fields with a sultry hue.

“Shall we take a walk? It’s such a nice day,” Shougo suggests, turning his head to look at Shinya.

“Yeah,” Moving his gaze away from the grave, the investigator suddenly beams. “It’d be a shame to let this sunset go to waste.”

Their steps create a soothing rhythm as they stroll along the fine gravel paths. The soft rustle of the crops serves as a fitting accompaniment.

Inadvertently, Shougo picks up some faint noises – children’s laughter – in the wind. He stops and looks around, searching for the source.

Near a cabin at the other end of the field, he spots a group of children playing. The kids are running back and forth as they try to catch something that they keep throwing around. Shougo watches them attentively, an apparition of a smile on his lips.

_What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff – I mean if they’re running and they don’t look where they’re going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That’s all I’d do all day. I’d just be the catcher in the rye and all..._

“Makishima,” Shinya calls out.

Before Shougo can answer, he feels two arms wrapping around his waist from behind. To this sudden gesture, Shougo is about to say something, but all that comes out becomes a quiet chuckle.

“I will watch over you and catch you before you go over the cliff too,” Shinya whispers next to Shougo’s ear, his voice cracking a little with determination, as if taking a vow to himself.

Shougo turns around in Shinya’s arms, gazing into the dark eyes in front of him. Beyond, the sunset is turning the sky into a beautiful gradient from maroon to deep blue.

Raising his hand, Shougo is about to hold Shinya’s face in his palm when the latter locks lips with him almost forcefully. Shinya’s tongue rummages aggressively inside him, making it hard for him to breathe. But at this moment the suffocation almost feels like a comfort, and Shougo is happy to have his partner take over him. When Shinya finally breaks away, Shougo, without thinking, immediately seizes the chance to return the kiss, not letting go until the desire unleashed inside him begins to subside.

There is a long pause after the kiss. The two stand there facing each other, making themselves a lone island amidst the crops.

“Don’t leave me... Please.” At last, Shinya says softly.

Looking deeply into the eyes of the man in front of him, Shougo tilts his head slightly, the corners of his lips twisting into a smile that Shinya cannot clearly discern under the darkening sky.

“I won’t.”

Shougo’s voice comes through the wind and gets carried away, disappearing into the distance.


End file.
